I need help I am probably going to try to talk the fiance into letting me pick up another Tercel. What is the best excuse?
I am planning on trying: I want to buy it so that I could fix it up for a friend so we can go four wheeling together.
It is sitting in Prescott Valley and not runnning. Probably a simple carb issue.
Best Excuse
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TreeKiller
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83toybeater
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Petros
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Ahh, I have much experiance with such issues. If she is like most women there are two issues that will be going through her mind: 1) she will see it as something she has to "compete" with for your time or money (of couse she wants you to spend all your discreasionary time and money on her), not likely she cares much about the car, how good a deal it is, nor how much you will save on spare parts. 2) she will not like the idea of an ugly old junker hanging around in your yard where everyone will see it and where it will be in your way.
So you have to convince her that you have a place for it where few or no one will see it (that is NOT in your front yard, driveway, under a tarp, etc.), that it will not take long to get it drivable. And that the time you will spend working on it will not take time away from her, or her list of "honey-dos" she wants you to finish (or start on!). Nor will she be inconvenienced by it (do not park it in front of the washer and dryer in your garage!).
Nor will you be able to spend "family" money on it, for most women extra money in the bank means extra security. Using savings to buy a "hunk of junk" could make here feel less secure, so you have to use your own money or workout an agreement with the guy who ownes it now to get paid later. And you will work on it when she has to work or is in class, etc. These are purely emotional issues for her BTW, so "man logic" seldom will help you here.
The only exception is if she is one of the rare women that likes turning wrenchs on old cars, and find working on fixers a fun and creative spare time activity. If she is "enviornmentally sensative" then you might convince her you are "recycling" a perfectly good, economical and reliable car to keep it out of the land fill. The fact that you will save money with it, or make money with it ususally does not mean much to most women. Working on old ugly cars is a "yucky" business that she would rather not thing about you doing, espcially if it is time that she want you to spend with her.
You of course will have to formulate what you say to her in a way that she will be open to the idea. You know her best, think through how she will react to the idea, and do the best you can to taylor what you say accordingly. Also you MUST wait for the right time, when she is in a good mood and the subject is approriate (NOT during a romantic date, or "private time"), but preferably when the subject of cars come up for any other reason. Whatever happens, DO NOT argue over it, seldom will women say what the real issue is but rather become indignate and beligerant and throw out demeaning insults and drag up old unrelated arguments. Watch out for that and DO NOT engage it. Stay calm and ask what the issue really is (it will almost certainly be what she is saying), and you want to do this but want to know how you can do in a way that is acceptable to her.
I highly recomend for the long term, and for the sake of your relationship, that you each agree that you each get some "blow-it" money appart from the household buget that each can spend on what you like (like a "project" car, sports equipment, music, ball games, etc), even if it only a small amount. And that both of you have "private" time to spend on activities as you like without having to accodate the other. I think most men need "cave-time" to tinker with something they enjoy when alone, women need to learn this and accept it. If not, the relationship will be very stressful and will likely fail in the long term. You do not want that, it gets too costly in more ways than one for everyone.
These are hard lessons learned from someone who has been married only once, and managed to stay married for over 25 years (and I intend to stay that way). I hope this helps. Good luck.
Peter
So you have to convince her that you have a place for it where few or no one will see it (that is NOT in your front yard, driveway, under a tarp, etc.), that it will not take long to get it drivable. And that the time you will spend working on it will not take time away from her, or her list of "honey-dos" she wants you to finish (or start on!). Nor will she be inconvenienced by it (do not park it in front of the washer and dryer in your garage!).
Nor will you be able to spend "family" money on it, for most women extra money in the bank means extra security. Using savings to buy a "hunk of junk" could make here feel less secure, so you have to use your own money or workout an agreement with the guy who ownes it now to get paid later. And you will work on it when she has to work or is in class, etc. These are purely emotional issues for her BTW, so "man logic" seldom will help you here.
The only exception is if she is one of the rare women that likes turning wrenchs on old cars, and find working on fixers a fun and creative spare time activity. If she is "enviornmentally sensative" then you might convince her you are "recycling" a perfectly good, economical and reliable car to keep it out of the land fill. The fact that you will save money with it, or make money with it ususally does not mean much to most women. Working on old ugly cars is a "yucky" business that she would rather not thing about you doing, espcially if it is time that she want you to spend with her.
You of course will have to formulate what you say to her in a way that she will be open to the idea. You know her best, think through how she will react to the idea, and do the best you can to taylor what you say accordingly. Also you MUST wait for the right time, when she is in a good mood and the subject is approriate (NOT during a romantic date, or "private time"), but preferably when the subject of cars come up for any other reason. Whatever happens, DO NOT argue over it, seldom will women say what the real issue is but rather become indignate and beligerant and throw out demeaning insults and drag up old unrelated arguments. Watch out for that and DO NOT engage it. Stay calm and ask what the issue really is (it will almost certainly be what she is saying), and you want to do this but want to know how you can do in a way that is acceptable to her.
I highly recomend for the long term, and for the sake of your relationship, that you each agree that you each get some "blow-it" money appart from the household buget that each can spend on what you like (like a "project" car, sports equipment, music, ball games, etc), even if it only a small amount. And that both of you have "private" time to spend on activities as you like without having to accodate the other. I think most men need "cave-time" to tinker with something they enjoy when alone, women need to learn this and accept it. If not, the relationship will be very stressful and will likely fail in the long term. You do not want that, it gets too costly in more ways than one for everyone.
These are hard lessons learned from someone who has been married only once, and managed to stay married for over 25 years (and I intend to stay that way). I hope this helps. Good luck.
Peter
'87 Tercel 4wd SR5 (current engine swap project)
'84 Tercel 4wd (daily driver, with on going mods)
'92 Mazda MPV 4wd (wife's daily driver)
'85 Tercel 4wd DLX auto(daughter's daily driver)
'01 Honda Civic (other daughter's daily driver)
'84 Tercel 4wd (daily driver, with on going mods)
'92 Mazda MPV 4wd (wife's daily driver)
'85 Tercel 4wd DLX auto(daughter's daily driver)
'01 Honda Civic (other daughter's daily driver)
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ARCHINSTL
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Petros and keith -
You guys have some good lines: "...cave time..." from the former and "...Fiat..." from the latter.
"Cave time" sounds like it is something from psychology/sociology, and "Fiat" had me really chuckling - I mean, really chuckling. Tres clever!
Of course, if she likes motorcycles, then you could tell her you were considering buying, to save fuel, matching mopeds - of course, with that course of action, you'd better have a stash to pay for your lawyer - and maybe her's as well.
You guys have some good lines: "...cave time..." from the former and "...Fiat..." from the latter.
"Cave time" sounds like it is something from psychology/sociology, and "Fiat" had me really chuckling - I mean, really chuckling. Tres clever!
Of course, if she likes motorcycles, then you could tell her you were considering buying, to save fuel, matching mopeds - of course, with that course of action, you'd better have a stash to pay for your lawyer - and maybe her's as well.
T4WD augury?
"Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' Let us go and make our visit."
T.S. Eliot - "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
"Now and then we had a hope that, if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."
Mark Twain
"Oh, do not ask, 'What is it?' Let us go and make our visit."
T.S. Eliot - "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock"
"Now and then we had a hope that, if we lived and were good, God would permit us to be pirates."
Mark Twain
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Petros
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"Cave time" is from a silly social model to try and explain male and femail behavior based on looking at an imaginary past and trying to explain certain modern behaviors for both genders. I do not know who coined the term, it has come into usage by psychology/sociologists. Although I think the idea of it is silly, I like the term.
If goes something like this, for survival of the family females took care of traditional important roles such as child raising (because being equiped with certain physical equipment), food gathering and preperation, and taking care of things around the home. While manly men would go out and do the dangerous but no less important work their greater strength and precision skills allow by stalking and hunting down meat, and protecting agaist possible threats to the family and comunity. After these daily stressful encounters the manly man of the family needs to go in his cave and do some mindless activity for an hour or two to unwind, so he can behave in a civil and polite way to family and friends later. If this cave time in interupted with constant questions and pestering women will find that a "dragon" lives in that cave.
So this accounts for why modern women are more into nurture and caring, preparing the home and need a lot of soical contact. Modern man goes out and battles to bring home "meat" from the workplace, and also he must watch out for preditors in the workplace that threaten his career, and his ability as a provider. When he comes home he needs a place where women and childern do not invade and he can be left alone for a few hours to cool down and relax (or they find a "dragon" lives there). A den, workshop, basment rec room to watch TV, read the sports page, tinker, turn wrenches, bend metal, butcher wood, etc. By accomodating this need for manly cave time, and feminine social contact, couples will be happier.
This model explains what men and women find attractive in a mate. Some women find police or soilders "sexy", becasue they are the ultimate protectors (even though they are only marginal providers), or why other women find old rich guys, or famus celebrities "sexy", they are the ultimate providers (more money in the bank means the man is a better provider, even if not much of a protector). And it would also explain why men find large breasts and full hips "sexy" in women, it means they are well equiped to bare and raise childern. This is also why men think of the man who marries rich women in derogatory terms, or why w
What ever the reason, I stopped questioning why and just enjoy my "cave time" of building things or turning wrenches on old cars (it beats watching TV). It also makes a good excuse on why a garage/workshop is an important "private place" for me, and why it must not be a place for the wife to park the car or store stuff she does not want in the house.
If goes something like this, for survival of the family females took care of traditional important roles such as child raising (because being equiped with certain physical equipment), food gathering and preperation, and taking care of things around the home. While manly men would go out and do the dangerous but no less important work their greater strength and precision skills allow by stalking and hunting down meat, and protecting agaist possible threats to the family and comunity. After these daily stressful encounters the manly man of the family needs to go in his cave and do some mindless activity for an hour or two to unwind, so he can behave in a civil and polite way to family and friends later. If this cave time in interupted with constant questions and pestering women will find that a "dragon" lives in that cave.
So this accounts for why modern women are more into nurture and caring, preparing the home and need a lot of soical contact. Modern man goes out and battles to bring home "meat" from the workplace, and also he must watch out for preditors in the workplace that threaten his career, and his ability as a provider. When he comes home he needs a place where women and childern do not invade and he can be left alone for a few hours to cool down and relax (or they find a "dragon" lives there). A den, workshop, basment rec room to watch TV, read the sports page, tinker, turn wrenches, bend metal, butcher wood, etc. By accomodating this need for manly cave time, and feminine social contact, couples will be happier.
This model explains what men and women find attractive in a mate. Some women find police or soilders "sexy", becasue they are the ultimate protectors (even though they are only marginal providers), or why other women find old rich guys, or famus celebrities "sexy", they are the ultimate providers (more money in the bank means the man is a better provider, even if not much of a protector). And it would also explain why men find large breasts and full hips "sexy" in women, it means they are well equiped to bare and raise childern. This is also why men think of the man who marries rich women in derogatory terms, or why w
What ever the reason, I stopped questioning why and just enjoy my "cave time" of building things or turning wrenches on old cars (it beats watching TV). It also makes a good excuse on why a garage/workshop is an important "private place" for me, and why it must not be a place for the wife to park the car or store stuff she does not want in the house.
'87 Tercel 4wd SR5 (current engine swap project)
'84 Tercel 4wd (daily driver, with on going mods)
'92 Mazda MPV 4wd (wife's daily driver)
'85 Tercel 4wd DLX auto(daughter's daily driver)
'01 Honda Civic (other daughter's daily driver)
'84 Tercel 4wd (daily driver, with on going mods)
'92 Mazda MPV 4wd (wife's daily driver)
'85 Tercel 4wd DLX auto(daughter's daily driver)
'01 Honda Civic (other daughter's daily driver)
Let me add something I've learned over a lifetime. You cannot make someone else happy, you can however make someone else miserable. Each person must make them selves happy, because if they are not happy, they make those around them miserable. In other words, do what makes you happy and let your fiance do what makes her happy, respect each others space, otherwise you will make each other very unhappy.
Do include somethings you both like though.
In my 20 years in the Navy, I knew many guys who were happy in the service, but got out because their wife threatened them with divorce if they didn't. Every one of them ended up divorced. Of those who chose to stay despite their wife's threat, some ended up divorced, but most didn't.
Do include somethings you both like though.
In my 20 years in the Navy, I knew many guys who were happy in the service, but got out because their wife threatened them with divorce if they didn't. Every one of them ended up divorced. Of those who chose to stay despite their wife's threat, some ended up divorced, but most didn't.
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2manytoys4menow
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